I read a very interesting article the other day about “victim anger.”  This is when you blame everyone else for your problems.  Everyone knows someone like this.  This person just can’t seem to get ahead, and it’s always someone else’s fault.

I see this a lot with dieters, and I know quite a few of them.  This isn’t because I know a lot of overweight people (even though I do), but it’s because, being 95 pounds, I’m a magnet for anyone who feels that they are fat.

I’ve heard dozens upon dozens of excuses, from the old Garfield-like expression, “I’m not fat, I’m just short.”  Or how about, “My body is just made to be fat.”  Even better, “If you can’t accept me for being 200 pounds overweight, then you’re a {{insert bleep}}.”

I’m not bashing on anyone who needs to lose some weight.  In fact, I have a very nonchalant attitude about weight. If you are overweight, and you don’t care, well, then, I don’t care.

The article explains victim anger thus:

As trauma after trauma batters you, you will begin to say, “Why me? This isn’t fair!” You will blame anyone who gets in your way. You will feel victimized by the world. You might even become a psychological terrorist. Because you can’t look at your responsibility in what is happening, you will develop a “victim” mentality, and you will have fallen into “victim” anger.

Just don’t complain that it’s someone else’s fault when you sit in front of the TV four hours a night and eat potato chips.  Meanwhile, I sit in front of the boob tube for a maximum of one show per night (if even that) and I eat hummus and pita chips baked with olive oil.  And then I go for a half-hour walk.

This is what I mean by victim anger, and it just doesn’t happen with people on a diet.  It happens with writers, too.  And yes, I am blaming myself as well, because I often find myself without time.  Some days I make excuses not to write or even go to the coffee shop.  This past week, I made an excuse not to blog.  It’s my kid’s fault because I had to pick her up from track practice.  It’s my insurance agent’s fault because I he wanted to talk to me for three hours.  It’s my friend’s fault because she wouldn’t let me off the phone.

But it’s no one’s fault but mine.

Psychological reasons aside (e.g. exploring the reasons that I am procrastinating), this week I made a renewed commitment to myself.  I decided to cut all the trimmings and go on a diet.  A writer’s diet.  This means that I feel “victim anger,” I need to take steps to avoid it.

The first to go was, unfortunately, watching little babies.  I need to manage my time and it has to come at the sacrifice of being nice, because ultimately, someone else not having enough money for daycare is not my problem.  Finding the time to write is my problem.  Getting my master’s degree in creative writing is my problem.


Mandi’s Hummus

1 (16 ounce) can garbanzo beans
1/4 cup liquid
3 tablespoons lemon juice
2 teaspoons garlic
1/2 teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon cumin
1/4 onion, optional

In a food processor, crush beans.  Add the lemon, garlic, salt, olive oil, cumin and onion as it is processing.  Slowly pour in liquid, adding more if a creamier texture is desired.


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